These pictures are long overdue! I made a small road trip to the Adirondacks in upstate New York about two months or so ago with three friends, with the intention of witnessing a magical ascent of hundreds of hot air balloons into the twinkling dawn sky. As it turns out, hot air balloons can only operate within a narrow range of wind speeds, conditions which never did materialize themselves for the hundreds of eager participants at the Adirondacks Hot Air Balloon Festival. 

The trip turned out to be memorable nonetheless, with Lake George as the perfect backdrop to trees painted in rich shades of red, orange, and yellow; a beautiful mural of the changing seasons. We rented a cozy cabin that looked much like an adult-sized tree house right on the lake, and spent a delightful couple of days away from the city. A couple of pictures were also taken from my brooklyn rooftop of a particularly breath-taking sunset and in the city.

The past couple of weeks have been ones of profound reflection on what direction I’m headed in professionally, personally and otherwise. This has been somewhat of a mini-existential crisis, if you will. That surely makes it out to be rather cataclysmic, but I suppose I’ve always been one for unnervingly thorough self-analysis. The burning question is whether I should stay in my graduate school program and accumulate an asphyxiating amount of debt, and if it would lead me towards the kind of life I think I’m seeking in order to make that debt worth it. I’ve had that nervous feeling in my stomach like something isn’t quite right, although pinpointing what that something is has proven to be quite an elusive pursuit.

What I do know is that I’ve been seeking more creative outlets of self-expression. I’ve spoken to my parents, boyfriend, best friends, strangers, and having exhausted the advice of every possible outlet, I begged for the clarity to come to me in a dream (naturally, how else should one solve life’s most pressing problems?). Anyhow, at the risk of sounding slightly like I’ve gone off the deep end, I will share the dream I ended up having last night.

In it, someone called me on the phone to tell me my mother had died. Now for those of you who do not know my mother, she is buzzing with creative capacities. The woman can paint, sew, draw- you name it. In the dream, I am not sad, but rather intensely curious, so I go to my parents house to collect her belongings, but the only things I can find are her paintbrushes, paintings, and other art-related belongings, so I take them and place them around my apartment.

This is what I found on dreams about death:

“To dream about the death of a loved one suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what you like about them. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, the dream indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life anymore. In particular, to dream about the death of your living parents indicates that you are undergoing a significant change in your waking life.”

So what do you think, should I leave school and seek something else, perhaps something more creatively in-tune, or should I stay on track and bludgeon my unsettling impulsivity with a sledgehammer?

On a less serious note: a couple of pictures from my lomography camera:

Frightful flower, with what vehemence do you dare not to grow?

Is it oft that the sun does now shine in your favor,

Pouring down upon you its glimmering golden vessel of all life?

Does not your patch of soil provision all the food and drink to be had at your hearts content?

When the jovial skies, in a frenzied deluge of manic bear upon the earth

A sleet of iridescent tears,

Do you not emerge yourself the better, endowed with the vigor of a penitent having performed the nights sacred ablutions?

Have you stopped to consider your opulent dress of velvet so fine the highest royals seek it, and blues and reds so bright the finest painter contemplates it?

Perhaps familiarity has robbed you of your very scent,

Fragrant as the honey of the sweetest bees.

Is there a thing for which you truly want,

that has not been ordained to you in the cosmic order of life?

I think it not that you may have encountered an existence more immutable than your own.

I have spent the last several days packing, cleaning, painting, heavy lifting, and otherwise moving my excessive belongings to my new apartment in bushwick! This will be not my second, not even my third, but my FIFTH apartment since I moved to New York three years ago. Talk about living in a transient city, and every time I do it, I promise myself it will be the last time I move. My room is coming together nicely though, and is considerably bigger than my last, which is always a good thing- particularly when you've accustomed yourself to living in closet sized bedrooms because its simply the norm in this city. I also found the perfect 1970's vintage white dresser with gold trimming (craigslist, you never let me down) and that has made me extra happy. 

A few pictures of James and I's overnight trip to philly. The original purpose of this trip was to visit a thrifting mecca where I was hoping to score some great finds. These dreams were quickly dashed when we pulled up to the front door to find out the warehouse is only open on mondays and saturdays. Obviously, this is the type of thing that would happen to me, but thats ok, because as it turns out philly is perhaps the most historically significant city in the U.S. Among other things, we read copies of the Declaration of Independence (ok, briefly scanned), saw Benjamin Franklin's grave, and peeked inside of a Masonic Temple. Granted, these pictures don't depict any of those things; and are more the product of walking around the city and enjoying my few last days off before school. 

Dearest fashion-lovas, if you haven't checked out lookbook yet, it's a fun site for the fashion enthusiast that is basically dedicated to "street-style" photos. You can post your own looks, or explore those of others to get color and style inspiration from people all around the world.

Show me some love (please & thank you) and "hype" this look on lookbook by using the "frolicking in flowers" link on the right!

After much deliberation I decided it was time to bring back the bangs, just in time for fall. What better way to make the end of summer slightly less depressing? I brought myself to get them for the first time last year, and loved them, save for the awkward in-between growth stage where I looked like a pre-pubescent boy sporting a mushroom haircut, or the countless times in which I had stray hairs stabbing me in the eye. I'm sure in a few weeks i'll be swearing this day to hell, but for now I am oh-so-la-di-da-happy with them!

Photobooth fun

Having spent a bit of time mentally wading through the travails of being in a long distance relationship, I wrote a little something I thought I would share. All I can say is, oh the crazy things we do for love.

Are you to fill the peering void within?

I fret with small hellos, painted smiles, how do you dos and pleasant farewells but the looming space remains.

Peering into a furtive canvass of green mired in blue and brown, of hope dancing with regret and with a penchant for tomorrow,

You retreat from me into a solemn place not retractable by foot or song.

Can you uncover the untrodden tracks that might bear witness to sultry whispers within?

By the virtue of a prod of whit or whimsy, a scornful glare or a glistening tear replete with apprehension,

Might I unearth the artifacts of your grand retention?

Or have our paths diverged incomprehensibly, unimaginably, undeniably, irretrievably?

Pictures from the second round of film on my Pentax. I just purchased more film, this time in both 400 and 800 speed for my Diane F+ lomography camera, having learned that  the latter will allow for better lighting in dim settings. This means I will get to experiment with more night pictures, so I'm pretty excited about that, and I hope you are too!

Pentax A3000 35 mm

Streets of NYC

The last time I was in Maine, I discovered this 35 mm Pentax A3000 at a yard sale- along with a stephen king book that I have yet to read- for $5, practically free!

 I knew that it must be mine, and have been itching to use it since. A few days ago my lovely coworker Emily and I galavanted around the city while she provided fundamental how to's on using my new cam. Here are some of the shots from this roll, click on them to make them bigger:

Farmers Market; Union Square

*I think this one is my fave*

IFC Theater; Lower East Side

Comedy Club; West Village

My Brother; Union Square

Construction Worker; Flat Iron

Musician; Washington Square Park

Graffiti; Williamsburg, Brooklyn

I spend a lot of my free time walking around manhattan and brooklyn, and the streets are always teeming with an eclectic profusion of culture and life. It can be incredibly overwhelming but also beautifully inspirational.

Had to wear my newly buttoned shirt out in brooklyn today!

sunglasses; Urban Outfitters

pink shorts; American Apparel

fave black booties; Steve Madden

If you like, feel free to "hype" it on lookbook by using the link on the right!

DIY: Old Shirt Revamp!

I decided to give my body (really my liver) a rest this saturday night and spend it cleaning and crafting. Changing the buttons on old or even new shirts, jackets, or whatever article of clothing you wish is an easy way to add a personal touch and a little bit of pizazz. I finagled a collection of gold buttons from my mother and have been slowly adding them to things I own when I want to change them up a bit. I'm glad I finally got around to changing the awful buttons off of this otherwise cute top!

Jazz Age Lawn Party 2012

Governors Island, NY

*Seriously* Old German Camera 35 mm film

I was rummaging through the inordinately large pile of nonsense that resides in my desk and discovered these pictures I took at last years Jazz Age Lawn Party. For anyone that is not familiar, the Jazz Age Lawn Party is when cloches, bowler hats, flappers, and beads galore make their 21st century debut. Everyone dresses up 1920s Great Gatsby style- and you'd be surprised (or not) at the amount of 1920's enthusiasts that have the style perfected from head to toe. For this event I toyed around a bit with double exposures, and thought they worked particularly well in creating a lively, dynamic dancing shot! I was most impressed with the first lady pictured above, whose wicker baby carriage was just too appropriately perfect to pass up.

Film series: Fourth of July

Shot with: Diane F+ Lomography

ISO 400 Speed Film

Shot and Edited by myself

I finally finished the roll of film I started on the 4th of July. I love the hazy, dreamy look that the Diane F+ manual camera produces. These were shot in Popham Beach, Maine. 

By far the most memorable part of this day was riding the boat back to dock at around 6 pm, and looking out to see stretches of purple, orange, and pink enveloping us from every angle. The water was unimaginably serene, and this peaceful evening was no small comfort for someone living in nyc.